Shir Libeynu

Death and Dying: The Jewish, and Shir Libeynu, Way

Death and Dying: The Jewish, and Shir Libeynu, Way

On December 11, 2011, Shir Libeynu held an information session and discussion on the Jewish way of death and dying. About 40 people attended, and listened to our speakers, heard from various members about their own experiences as mourners in the past, and discussed possible plans for the future.

Aviva Goldberg conveyed the rites, rituals and responsibilities inherent in the process. This included information about the care of the deceased, funerals and shivas.  She also discussed what we as a community can do to help grieving family members and friends, including attending and participating in shivas and sending condolences.  We discussed the concept of chesed shel emes, or the ultimate good deeds, as those who perform them can never be repaid for their kindness, or thanked in the cases of tahara (washing and dressing of the body) and shemira (watching over the deceased).

Several people relayed their poignant memories of how gracious and appropriate support from their communities, including Shir Libeynu, made a difference, after their loved ones died.  Then Michaele-Sue Goldblatt, of Benjamin’s Park Memorial Chapel, gave us information about the services that her Jewish mortuary provides, and some protocol issues around burial.  We also heard about the various burial options available inTorontofor the array of needs we face: for both Jewish and interfaith couples, whether straight or same sex, and those who wish a cremation. We discussed the many needs in the community and how we can support each other, as well as the possibility of our buying a funeral plot allotment as a group.

As a result, and due to the response of our members there, and afterwards, Shir Libeynu is forming a mutual care group which will encompass the following components:

Bikur Cholim (visiting the ill), which will help members of the community in need during sickness, including but not exclusive to the palliative state;

Chesed (loving kindness, sometimes called gemilut hasadim), which will help members of the community during their mourning process, including aid during funeral planning and shivas (participation in Kaddish services*, arranging food and other care for the bereaved);

Chevra Kadisha (sacred society), which will deal with the rituals around care of the deceased, including the tahara* (washing and dressing of the body) and shemira *(watching over the body until the funeral);

Burial Plots Allotment: Several members of our community, including our treasurer, Zev Frishman, will look into the costs and other logistics involved in procuring burial plots for our congregation inToronto.

We invite members of Shir Libeynu to get involved in one or more components of our mutual care group by sending in your contact info,  telling us to which initiatives you wish to contribute your time and skills in the future.  NOTE: because of the serious nature of the issues around illness, death and mourning, and in order to ensure that our members are supported during their times of need, we will be asking for a definite commitment of volunteer time,  as well as attendance at orientation workshops.  Those components marked with an asterisk (*) will also require training sessions.

There are many ways to contribute as a volunteer to Shir Libeynu.  Serving in groups that help with the dead and dying and their loved ones, as well as those who are ill, either temporarily or during their final days, is not for everyone. If you feel that this kind of volunteer service calls you, write to us at shirlibeynu@yahoo.ca, with “Mutual Aid” in the subject line, and be specific with your information, please (i.e. I am interested in the Chesed component, particularly in leading Kaddish. I can commit to three hours a month).